who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
