the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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