Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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