I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
