Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
