Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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