This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
