The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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