I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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