woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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