when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
