Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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