walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
