They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
