dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
