is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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