You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
one two three fourrrrnication!
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
