I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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