I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
