I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
