I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I want to be your penis for a week.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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