The maid of honor just puked.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
