Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
