TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
