He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
