Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
