She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
