i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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