I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
