Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
pop tarts are not kleenex
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
