I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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