that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
