this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
