absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
