do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
