all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize