Kareoke will never be a sober sport
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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