its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
