the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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