the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
