I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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