Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
