sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
