Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
