Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
