Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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