Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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