Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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