Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
