the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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