I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
