Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
