I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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